Posts Tagged ‘Whore’

Ok, so I made it to the vault and destroyed the evil that inhabited it, but got nothing in return. The crazy Dr. Ned was killed again and again.¬†Mad Moxxi’s underdome…conquered. I’ve raided General Knoxx’s secret armory yet came away empty with no Pearlescent weapons. Finally, Claptrap’s robot revolution was quickly extinguished. I’ve completed Borderlands.¬†2K Games and Gearbox‘s epic masterpiece brought back many memories of past games like Phantasy Star Online and Diablo. Honestly, I enjoyed this game¬†more than the others.¬†Alright, so let’s check the achievement count shall we…

74 out of 80 achievements (1585 Gamerscore)

Holy shit badass vault hunter! What did I miss?

Let’s see, I didn’t reach Level 61 yet (currently at Level 57). All missions for the General Knoxx’s DLC were not completed. Only one mission left which is kill Crawmerax The Invincible. He’s only killed me about a hundred times I think. Ok, that’s three achievements. What else do I have left? Oh yeah, collection achievements. Oil cans, bobbleheads, and pizza. At least I have plenty of pink panties and Clap-Fish making it a half party.

With only one character close to Level 61 (Brick), my mission was clear. Get all the damn achievements and please the achievement whore in me. I’m so close to perfection. I can taste it. This should be easy right? Well, not exactly.

So let me fill you in. I knew that Crawmerax was impossible so I’ll need to recruit a team for this feat. Attempts at soloing the giant crab have been rather unsuccessful since either he or his minions kill me in two hits and my weapons won’t make a dent in him. Even the glitch spot wasn’t working for me. Part of it may require me to get some better weapons, but the weapons on Playthrough 2 have sucked so far.

As for the collection shit…well these drops are taking forever. I tried the MINAC farming technique which didn’t do so well, and most Claptraps that I farm on Hyperion Dumps on Playthrough 2 are dropping shit I already have. I even try other areas and come up with a bunch of gears and motherboards along with the occasional oil can. WTF! All I want is some bubbleheads and pizza! Hook a fellow vault hunter up!

With Borderlands 2 quickly approaching on September 18, my goal is to finish with all achievements before then. Of course with my day job situation probably coming to fruition by as early as next week, This means that I don’t have much time to recruit a team for Crawmerax. Anyone interested in joining this vault hunter for some fun times in Pandora hit me up. My gamertag is HighOctane Buzz.

UPDATE: As of this writing, I did get one of the collection achievements. The Lubricator which had me collecting 25 oil cans. Well that’s a start. Now if the other drops can show up more often. Get over here Claptraps!

When I was a kid. my parents bought the Atari 2600. A few years later they bought my brother a NES. This made some rough times for me because I had to go to his room just to play games like Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda. I needed a system of my own so I grew up on Sega. The Master System, Genesis, and even the ill fated 32X were a part of my early years. Now I get to relive a part of my childhood and adolescense everytime Sega releases their old school classics on Xbox Live Arcade. Long Live Sega!

The latest edition of the Sega Vintage Collection brings six classic games from both the arcade and home consoles. One of the games (Monster World IV) never made it to American shores until now. There’s Alex Kidd in Miracle World which is the first game I¬†picked up when¬†purchased¬†the Master Sysytem. The hard as nails Revenge of Shinobi. The old school motorcycle¬†racer Super Hang On. Finally, three classic games from the Monster World series minus Wonder Boy 3: The Dragon’s Trap. Yes, I’m not the only one in the community¬†complaining about this one, because that game was awesome. Each of these games are emulated perfectly (Super Hang¬†On is sadly showing it’s age), and with added achievements for that extra replay value which really suits the achievement whore in me.

Considering the fact that I’m pretty good at these games I jumped in a little to overconfidently early on only to get my ass handed to me. I realized that when you haven’t played a certain game for a long period of time (in this case many years) it takes a little time to get your bearings again. After an hour, I was just about back on track timing wise for all of these games except for Revenge of Shinobi which was still kicking my ass. All¬†six games are still as much fun as I remembered them. However, if there was anything I wish Sega could omit it would have to be the “Paper, Rock, Scissors” boss battles in Alex Kidd, because they were just stupid and pointless.

Some people may hate it and rather have these games lay to rest, but I love the old school games. Sega’s Vintage Collections are both¬†fun and nostalgic. Next week comes the Golden Axe and Streets of Rage games, but I’m not going to buy them due to the fact that I already have these games on Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection. In the end, I would recommend this collection for all the old-school retro fans who love Sega. I found plenty of entertainment here for a long time and so should you.

Publisher: Sega
Platform: Xbox Live Arcade
Players: 1
Price: 800 Microsoft Points ($10.00)

ACHIEVEMENT

Definition: something accomplished by superior ability, special effort, or great courage

Xbox 360 Definition: completing a set of goals in a game followed by a distinct tone and an addition of useless gamerscore points. Also see Addiction.

Late nights. Little sleep. A lack of social interaction except for the noob that’s getting their ass kicked in Halo. He talks with that whiny annoying voice that drives you crazy except you find it bearable after living in the spirit of virtual victory on the battlefield. You listen to the agony of their defeat while he/she screams countless obscenities at you. However, you drown that noise out all because you hear that familiar sound drop. The sound of accomplishment along with a message. Achievement unlocked!

Since November of 2005, it began with the purchase of a console and a few games, ¬†specifically Call of Duty 2. I completed basic training and then it started. The tone. The message. The increase in gamerscore by 50 points. Ok, so the points meant nothing to me. Just the achievement. I wondered what I needed to do next just to get another one. Later¬†I went to Xbox Live Arcade and¬†bought Gauntlet and Geometry Wars and got a few more achievements. That’s when it dawned on me. I became addicted.

Fast forward a couple of thousand cheevos and 56,000 plus gamerscore points and I’m still at it. It’s no longer an addiction. It’s a way of life. No longer am I just a gamer. Now I’m an achievement whore. My life has changed forever. Games mean nothing unless they have a fresh set of new achievements for me to unlock. Every new one I get is more satisfying then the next. Complete a level, double and triple kills, do all the spectacular shit that the average casual gamers can’t do. Yeah, the feeling is exhilarating. It’s even better than sex! Wait a minute…let me retract that statement. Sex is still better. Sorry, I guess I was in the euphoria of another achievement unlocked.

My addiction is getting to the point of wanting more than just being limited to Xbox 360 achievements. What about real life achievements? Here’s a few that I came up with:

* Wake up in the morning (10 GS)
* Call in sick to work because you want to play Skyrim or Kingdoms of Amalur (50 GS)
* Play a Call of Duty game (-100 GS)
* Have sex with a random man/woman you meet on Plenty of Fish (100 GS)
* Have sex with said person from Plenty of Fish, who you eventually find out that he/she looks like Jabba the Hutt, yet still did the deed only because you were horny that night (0 GS)
* Kill a random stranger on the street because you accidently mistaken them for a zombie (200 GS)
* Do a double tap and a teabag on that same person (300 GS)
* Tell your boss to go fuck himself/herself and then punch out your work buddy who wants a high five for your accomplishment (500 GS)

I can go all day on this. I think you get the point. It just makes me wonder what could possibly be next. Achievements Anonymous? I can see it now. Hi, my name is Brian, and I’m an achievement whore.