Can We Please Stop All This End Of The World Bullshit?

December 21, 2012

It’s been a date that we’ve all been hearing about for a long time. Supposedly on this date the world as we know it will come to an end…or does it? For years there have been many “Doomsayers” writing ridiculous stories and posting videos on YouTube with all that dramatic music, CGI video, and poor spelling and grammar aimed at scaring people. Then there’s the Mayan Calendar, I-Ching, and Nostradamus. The list goes on and on. The 2012 movie even “warned us” of impending doom, but understand that it was only a movie. Besides it’s also hard to believe about doom and gloom from a president played by Danny Glover. I guess Morgan Freeman was busy that day.

Lets take a minute and ponder this. How many times have we all heard about the end of the world? It’s like a revolving door of dates that just keep on coming and show no signs of stopping. Seriously, theres a ton of dates. Check out this LINK to see how many times people thought the world was going to end. Here’s some popular dates on when the world was supposed to end.

January 1, 2000: Y2K! Computer systems and other machinery were expected to crash or malfunction causing major catastrophe. Didn’t happen.

May 2003: Planet X aka “Nibiru” which was a planet four times the size of Jupiter, or a brown dwarf star, would collide into the Earth. Obviously didn’t happen. By the way the person who said this would happen said she learned of it through aliens commnicating via an implant in her brain.

May 21, 2011: The Rapture. Supposedly this was the day that there would be major earthquakes around the globe and “God’s select people” would leave the Earth. Five months later on October 21, 2011 the world would end. Well nobody mysteriously disappeared and once again the world didn’t end.

With all the failed dates passed, we once again come back to December 21, 2012. This date by doomsayers is the penultimate day, because this date signifies the end of the Mayan calendar. Some mark this day as Armageddon. Others say we will enter a new state of consciousness. The rest of us just think it will be another day. So what exactly is supposed to happen on this day? Well lets look at the scenarios.

Solar Flares: Currently the Sun is in a period called a “Solar Maximum” where it produces the greatest amount of solar activity. We’ve been in this period since 2008. Doomsayers believe on December 21, 2012 a solar flare so big will either destroy the entire world’s power grid taking months to years to get back online, or basically destroy all life on the planet according to the final minutes of the movie Knowing. While solar flares always pose a danger in terms of everything electric NASA has stated that the Knowing scene will not happen. Plus it was a movie starring Nicholas Cage so lets not get too worked up on this.

Planet X aka Nibiru Makes An Appearance: Ok, didn’t we already debunk this theory back in 2003? Well it’s back again and everyone believes they have seen it. Seen what exactly? If there was some giant planet, or brown dwarf star, on it’s way towards us we would all be able to see it by now. Doomsayers say it’s hidden behind the Sun. Some say that “it’s not a moon…it’s a space station.” Others believe that it will cause a pole shift that will take place quicker than Dominoes delivering a pizza to your house. C’mon people. Once again this is obviously bullshit. Want a good laugh, watch the video below.

The NWO: Some believe that the world will not end by some intergalactic anomaly, but by man. Nuclear war, terrorist attacks, sabotage. Basically everything we create will be turned against us. A New World Order is what they’re calling it. They’re goals: population control, eliminating religion, a preservation of nature. Doomsayers and conspiracy theorists use the Denver International Airport as their proof. However, I’m still trying to get over the fact on how the world will possibly be ruled by Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Hulk Hogan? Once again I’m calling Bullshit!

NASA has already stated for years that none of this 2012 nonsense is going to happen, so why does everyone fear it so much? Do people have a death wish and really want the world to end? Maybe the doomsayers want to scare you just enough to make you buy all their needless shit. If you really believe that the world is going to end in a few days then do me a favor and send me all your money. I have no 2012 survival guides, underground shelters, magical trinkets, or intergalactic spaceships, but I’ll be happy to spend your money. Seriously, there’s nothing to worry about. Trust me when I tell you that when you wake up on December 22, 2012 you’ll still be here. As for the doomsayers…we’ll be laughing at them while they go into hiding. Surely they’ll return once again with a new date based on some quantum mathematics equation that they pulled out of their ass along with some cockamamie theory to back it up. Just remember that they’re all full of shit, and only the good Lord upstairs knows when time is up so don’t worry about it. Enjoy the rest of 2012, Happy Holidays, and let’s get ready for 2013 and beyond.

Argo Is The Best Bad Idea By Far And A Great Film

“Argo Fuck Yourself!”

Probably one of my favorite lines in cinema. A play on words that had the crowd in an uproar of laughter. Those few seconds make for some good fun, but it’s the rest of the film in Argo that will be long remembered.

Argo is based on the true story of the 1979 Iranian Hostage Crisis at the U.S. Embassy in Tehran and the Canadian Caper that followed. During the Iranian Revolution, Islamic students and militia took control of the U.S. Embassy and held more than sixty people hostage. Six were able to escape and took refuge with the Canadien Ambassador. When the Iranians realized that some people were missing they went on a search to find them. The Americans needed a plan of extraction, but all the ideas that the C.I.A. had wouldn’t work. Time was running out. In comes Tony Mendez (Ben Affleck) with an idea.

The Best Bad Idea By Far

A Canadian film crew on a scouting assignment. Sure it was the most far fetched idea out of left field, but it actually worked. What really makes Argo interesting is seeing how Tony Mendez is able to make this crazy plan actually succeed. First, find a script to fit the scene. Add in Hollywood make-up man John Chambers (John Goodman) and producer Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin) to make the fake film credible. Finally, hope and pray everything goes right

Throughout the film I felt the tension, suspence, and the drama of what was going on during this crisis, and how the C.I.A. wanted to get the people out before being discovered. Argo hooked me in from the beginning, and refused to let go until the escapees were finally free. Even though I knew what was going to happen I was always left with that feeling that these people were not going to make it out of Iran and die. Of course I would always get proven wrong. Credit director Ben Affleck for this amazing piece of true storytelling. Argo is clearly his best work to date both as a director and a star.

As for the actors, Arkin and Goodman nearly steal the show with their performances. Absolutely brilliant. I also liked the film presentation with the 1980s look and grittiness of the film itself making everything look old and dated. The classic rock tracks were also a nice touch to help break up any chance of monotony. Even the use of classic media footage and the interview with Jimmy Carter at the end was priceless. Overall, I enjoyed Argo and even applauded when the credits rolled. Blu-Ray…hell yeah. Oscar nominations…you bet. Now Argo fuck yourself and see this film.

Clip of the Week: Darth Schwarzenegger

The Avengers: A Kick Ass Film To Start The Summer Movie Season

Captain America, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor. For the past few years we’ve been teased for what was to come. As each movie premiered in theaters I anxiously awaited to see what was coming next. After each movie ended the bonus scenes brought the reality closer. Now it’s finally here. Four of Marvel’s most popular superheroes are on screen together as a team to take on the forces of evil. Expectations were high, but The Avengers clearly lived up to the tremendous hype and opened up the season with a bang.

Of all the movies leading up to The Avengers the only one I didn’t see was Thor. This was a little noticeable since a few of the characters from the beginning came straight from that movie, however I never got lost in the plot. The movie featured plenty of action and humor from beginning to end as the heroes battled the evil armies as well as each other leading to some great banter. One of my favorite scenes in the movie was between The Incredible Hulk and Loki at Stark Tower. Priceless. Also the end battle in the streets of New York is one the best moments that I have seen in a long time.

If anyone truly stood out in this flick that would have to be Robert Downey Jr. Once again he steals the show as the funny, cocky, and narcissistic Tony Stark/Iron Man. Since the first Iron Man movie I believed that he truly fit the role of billionaire playboy and hero Tony Stark. Of all the characters in the movie his had the most screen time and I could see why. He was awesome. I also have to give props to Mark Ruffalo as Dr. David Banner/The Incredible Hulk. Ruffalo reminded me of the late Bill Bixby when he played the legendary hero in the television series. While Ruffalo’s performance was well done I still wondered what Ed Norton would have been like in the role instead if he didn’t opt out. I also want to mention that Scarlett Johansson looked extremely hot as Black Widow.

The Avengers is clearly the best superhero movie of the summer at least until The Dark Knight Rises hits theaters to take it’s place. The bonus scene in the credits also served up what eventually will bring on a sequel in the near future. If you haven’t seen The Avengers yet I highly suggest taking a trip to the movie theater right now. It’s really that good.